Heard that one before?
The Wall of Horror
Lines you never want to hear from your boss. Check the company on ReverseRef before you sign.
This wall is still being filled. More lines are on their way.
“What takes 4 to 5 years elsewhere happens in 1 to 2 here. (Working yourself to death, taking shortcuts and being disorganised.)”
“Things just work differently here.”(smiling proudly)Translation: overtime and no gratitude.
“This isn't just another assistant role. This is your chance to become a world-class executive operations professional. (Work overload.)”
“Curiosity is a job requirement. (So is paying me well.)”
“We all go way back. (They all know each other intimately, so you will never have a place in the group, and absolutely no say.)”
“We want innovators and thinkers. (For peanuts.)”
“Give us your lifeblood. (In return for your commitment, we will suck you dry and then fire you.)”
“Yes, of course we underpay you and expect you to only work with us. Yes, we are disorganised and nothing is documented properly. But don't get anything wrong.”
“Overtime? I am a manager and I work 10 hours, so why are you complaining?”
“Leaving before 6 p.m. is way too early to go home. Even if you have finished your working hours.”
“We only pay for the minutes you are really working. The moment you stop to breathe, the pay stops too.”
“Job description: Heroes and Superstars wanted. For $2 and 8 hours a day.”
“We are a startup: a rich boss and two employees messing about in Asana. Nobody knows how it works. We only communicate through private messages.”
“We are a startup: a rich boss, one person doing everything, and only one person is actually hired. Everyone else is just there, talking and talking a lot. (Why are there so many people when only one is employed? And is this even a proper startup?)”
“We have zero boundaries. Gossip with us and pour your heart out. And if you don't go out to eat with us, we are offended. Also you must be our best friend and always chat, whether you are working or not.”
“Productivity goes up when we constantly harass and monitor our workers. Why vet applicants carefully and then trust them? We would have to commit too, and we do not want that. Instead, they should give us 100% and commit to us fully.”
“We work remotely, so I am constantly intrusive and overstep your boundaries. Huddle, Teams, Telegram, just to chat. You are the replacement for the friends I do not have in my personal life.”
“I am your boss, but I gossip with you and address you however I like. You cannot say no anyway, because I am your boss. And I can always dump my emotions, my gossip and my complaints on you. And I know that very well. Wahahaha.”
“Please work independently, but also follow every instruction to the T. In fact, I will change everything you do independently, while telling you to be more independent, and then I will call you incompetent or insecure because you are no longer willing to be assertive, as it gets shot down every time. (STOP HIRING independent people and then micromanaging them. Pick a lane: either or.)”